Sunday, June 12, 2011

Hi Sir, Do You Want To Start Following My god?

I remember a hilarious incident that epitomizes my Atheistic, or perhaps just my anti-religion, stance along with my habit of expressing very candid opinion, which sometimes just happens to have cynical or sarcastic undertones.

Although I dont remember the exact day or date, I was walking to my class (Physics I think) and I was just about to cross this very busy intersection that marks the boundary between the actual campus ( of UCSB) and the living community (of Isla Vista,CA) where it was very usual for various groups to set up tables and try to coerce/coax the pedestrians into believing about something that usually is pretty much some dumb shit. Among the sea of these zealous and intrusive people passing their flyers and yelling their stuff, this one lady approached me and asked me a question that I actually find offensively hilarious, or hilariously offensive.

She asked me if I would "like to get to know the bible, Sir", to which I replied within a breath, "No I dont like to read fiction", which is indeed very true. The lady looked a bit dumbfounded but I couldnt really tell as I didnt even stop and pause for a second.

Now I understand that one of the main features of any organized religion is to always bother people to join theirs, but to do it at that location and time is pretty stupid as well. What are these people thinking? I am on the way to my class at 10 in the morning with a slight hangover and a slight high when all of a sudden within a time frame of 15 seconds I am going to decide to just switch over the most basic belief a person can have without contemplating it at all. Ill just accept Jesus as my savior on a Wednesday morning to show people my whimsical self, or perhaps I will turn Communist while getting an ice cream at the mall.

And especially some of the Christians, these people dangle a bowl of rice in front of people's face until you accept lord jesus, and then wonder why they always get attacked or pillaged by the same people when they wake up in reality. There have been several instances in India where Christians have held mass conversions, and then they got burned and murdered by the people of the same village.

You cannot go into a country as conservative and religious as India, and try to convert the usually unlucky ones into believing that your way works while theirs doesnt, and that is because....well, there is no right way of believing how world and life and people work, so to stand at a corner, especially at a college, and wave a bible in front of people's faces in hope that at least one person will "see the truth" is not only moronic but also instigative of a reaction.

Monday, May 30, 2011

A for Adult

America has never failed to amuse me, whether its the gun obsession or sports culture. But today I got to experience something that really epitomizes how comfortable and integral sex is as a social topic in American society. I went to my first adult store today, along with two friends (a boy and a girl if you must know), but what was even more amazing was that this establishment, Moonlight Adult Store, was out of all places in Byram,MS, and ........its open 24 hrs! Imagine that, you could have the hankerin' for some edible panties at 3am or need that lube tube at 11 am, and theres a store exactly for that.
Now I know adult stores are not that big of a deal, especially in almost all westernized countries, but coming from India, I found the concept very intriguing from anthropological aspect of human cultures. I would not even have imagined some of the stuff found there, let alone try to figure out its practical use. So lets take a look at some of the more amusing stuff I spotted there:

Yes most of the store was your regular magazines, videos, lubes, sex potions; but then there were separate sections such as vibrators, costumes, butt section, vagina section, BDSM, edibles etc.; We looked at the blow up dolls first; there were the "regular" ones, and then there were grandma dolls (comes W/FAKE TEETH might I add), plumpy women dolls, Pregnant dolls!! the last one is just hilarious......moving on........Then we looked at the whips, straps, handcuffs, gag balls etc.;
The funniest thing I ever saw in the store was an Obama doll that jacks itself off if you push a button, and the catch phrases on the pack went like "he will stimulate his package" or "he beat the odds, now he beats his meat"!!! That is utterly hilarious that someone put the brains to come with these phrases for a toy doll that masturbates!
The coolest thing, if it works, I have to perversely admit had to be the "Deep Throat Numbing Spray": a solution of alcohol, glycerin, and BENZOCAINE (a local anesthetic)! Right next to it was the "Hole Tightener spray", but I couldn't reason with myself the physiology behind it though! There were fake but "real" feeling tube vaginas with different types of lips, and there was one that was a "tube asshole"!! There was a product called "Parachute Ball Weights"; apparently there are weights you could buy for your frank or your beans! There were electronic dildos that looked more like a toy gun, there were edible panties and penis pasta, there was a non electrical latex pussy that was pretty much a sphygmomanometer (blood pressure intrument) with the pump and all......

Adult Stores epitomize the perception of sex in western societies as something that is part of a normal life, whereas in most Asian cultures sexuality is usually repressed in all its forms; It really did change my perception of adult stores though, as I imagined a very narrow range of products, but you have to be amazed with the myriad possibilities of various shapes, forms, types, functions that could interest you ,or even something that can be more "normal" or less "weird" as one could imagine. Maybe ill take another look.....